March 7, 2013

What Kind of Mother Am I?

I've had a lot going on lately....I haven't denied that.  I know whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom we all have our own daily battles.  There are advantages and disadvantages of both situations.  I could stay at home like this mom who supports their entire family on 14K a year.  She's amazing.  Is there a perfect number for happiness?  Several studies have shown that if you make too little you are not happy, yet if you make too much you aren't happy either.  Why is that??? 
It's because happiness cannot be found in things, houses, new clothes, cars, or any other possessions.  It can only be found through the path you choose for your life.  You have a choice at every turn.  Do I make the right choice or the wrong one?
I choose to follow Christ and I am a believer.  I personally believe that has a lot to do with my happiness.  Whether or not you believe in God is your choice.  That's why Jesus died for our sins and we are able to make that decision in our hearts.  We are freed. is full of them.
Do I need that or do I want that?  Is it a necessity?
I choose to work.  I don't have to work.  I also don't want to live in debt.  This is a choice we have made so we can provide a better future for our family and they won't have to carry a financial burden.  And- hopefully one day we'll be able to bless others.  I love to give.  It makes my heart happy! Hopefully by the end of this year we'll be debt free, minus our mortgage.  Then we can start saving to pay for a car in cash.  It hasn't been easy, just ask Terence, but we are a team.  I enjoy the adult social interaction I get every day from my job.  Connor loves school and his friends.  His teachers probably come up with more things than I ever could teach him during the day.  Whether you stay at home with your kids, you work by choice, or because you have is what you make of it.  Don't ever feel like you aren't doing good enough.  Own your decision and make the most of it.
This life we live day in and day out can seem repetitive and full of twists and turns.  How you handle the turn around the corner is a choice.  Terence and I have really felt TV has become a "God" in our household.  We come home and sit in front of the television and eat our dinner, but the sad part is Connor is in our bedroom watching a cartoon eating his dinner separately.  Now, we do eat dinner at the table together sometimes...but not all the time.  We are both so tired and that has been our excuse for lazy parenting.  Terence has a long commute and we both work over 40 hours a week.  Regardless, we knew something had to change.  We felt a tug in our hearts to make a change and do it now.
We are looking into lowering our cable plan to just the basic channels and one DVR instead of two.
I'm proud of Terence because he has been getting up every day to run.  I'm taking my tennis shoes to work and I'm going to start doing the stairs on my lunch hour.  We were both feeling sick and sluggish and down right awful.  Inside and out.  We are also looking for a jogging stroller so Connor can go with us on walks in the evenings.  Any recommendations???
It's easy to blame the stress of a job or house chores for your laziness.  I do it all the time.  It's hard to get everything done especially when you are OCD like me! ha!  All I can say is do the best you can and God will take care of the rest.  Everything will fall into place.  There have been some major changes and my job lately and my work load has increased a lot.  I'm trying not to get too overwhelmed, but some days it's just hard.
You'll probably see a little less blogging from me for awhile.  My first priorities are and should always be God, my husband, and son.  Lately they've not been at the top of my list and I've prioritized other things over them.  That is going to change.  I'm missing the best moments of motherhood and family time because I'm busy doing other non-important things to make me feel important??? 
I guess in some small way this blog is validation.  Validation of my self worth.  That people really do like me and enjoy what I have to say and they like seeing pictures of my kid.  Why am I valuing myself on what other people think of me? 
I catch myself constantly ignoring others because I'm on my phone or watching TV.  Would I ignore Jesus if He was in the room standing next to me?  Probably not!  Next time you go to a public restaurant look around you and open your eyes.   Count how many people have their heads down looking at their cell phones.  It's become a security blanket for almost everyone.  Clutching their phones in their hands fixated on what's on the screen.  We are turning into zombies.  We aren't feeling or doing.....we are just reading and texting.
Now, I don't want you all to think I don't love this blog or the friendships I have made from it.  I love social networking and all it has to offer.  There is also a lot of good that can come from it! I'm just saying that I've prioritized it over other things and lately have felt the need to change that.
I'm still going to love and nurture this blog, it is after all my journal.  A place to post my beloved memories and pictures.  A place for friends and family to read about what is going on in our lives.  I also love reading about all of my "bloggy" friends lives too!
I just wanted to share a little bit about what has been on my heart lately. 
If you are still reading this....thanks for sticking around and thank you for caring enough to read.
If you need prayer or are struggling with something right now like I am there is a whole community of people who will pray with you and support you.  You just have to make the decision....and ask.
I pretty sure you'll be welcomed with open arms :-)
xoxo Becky

I'm off to go play with this silly kiddo.....

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Aishlea said...

Love this. We got a Schwinn jogging stroller from Amazon for about $115 and it is fab. I love it and Cohen loves riding in it!

Kristin said...

Becky, what a sweet post! Parenting is so difficult and exhausting. I admire that you are able to work full-time AND parent! Since I stay home with my girls, I'm SO tempted at times to turn on the tv and let them keep watching just so I can get a break! We have a strict no-tv during meals rule. We sit at the table and eat together...I don't think you'd regret this change! :) You are a great mom!

Karen A said...

Great post! It is hard to get your priorities straight but it's important. I need to work on priorities too even though I don't work outside the home. You should get a BOB jogging stroller.. we love ours. :)

Blogaroni N' Dees said...

...and with that, I'm putting my phone in my purse, turning off Disney junior, & playing w/ my kids. :) God has used you to re-focus me! Thank you! :)

Amber said...

I can't imagine myself how difficult parenting much be. I just know you guys are making the right decisions, and you seem to be doing a great job in raising Conner! :) Kudos to y'all on taking the steps to better your lives!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Becky I bet you are an amazing mother. I can only imagine how hard parenting can be!

The Hideout said...

Hi Becky,
I can totally relate to the priorities and the feeling that we r all focused an honed in on all the technology a bit much. I take note of that when we r having girl's night or just dinner out. It is quite sad. We are so focused on documenting everything that we forget to live our lives in the moment. I'd love to see pics and posts on your family's effort toward making change. I think it will be quite inspiring. On the job end, I'm feeling you and I've been having to choose my priorities with my sick baby over attending work. This daycare thing is taking us for a loop with all the germs he's being exposed to. Will b in prayer for you and your family's changes that lie ahead. :). I always enjoy reading your posts.

Brandi said...

What a great post!!!!!!!! So true!!

Christy said...

You're amazing mom! I read this post and notice that I'm struggling with some of the same issues. Thanks for being so honest . You sure make me feel better!!

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Mom or not, I think everyone can relate to this post! We all have times where it's easier to take the easy way out and let the TV keep us busy... but you know I'll still be here reading!

Nicolle said...

I'm doing a bible study right now, and it is teaching me that anything that keeps us away from our relationship from God is an idol in our lives. I know, for me, blogging and IG have become somewhat of an idol. I want to change that focus. I'm embarrassed that I post something and even though I don't live for comments, I check back to see what people have said. No more. I'm getting things in order. Life is too short. I saw a quote the other day that said something like, our life doesn't start a year from now, or when we get that bigger house, or our debt is paid off, it starts is all we have. Anyway, sweet post and I hear you on so many of these points. I pray that things balance out for you soon and that you feel much better, mentally and physically! I've been out of whack, hormone wise, and it's HARD!

Francie@EscovedoEscapades said...

You sound like a great mom, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Parenting can be difficult in the best of circumstances, and as you know, there really is no manual. You just have to do what you feel is best for you and your family, and it sounds like you're doing just that.

Keep up the good work.