February 6, 2013

Worst Target Trip EVER.


I debated on whether or not to put this up here....but I think we all have days (shopping trips) like this.  I took a video because nobody believes me that he acts this way!  
I know he was tired and everything, but it's days like this where I just lose it!  This lasted for almost 45 minutes in Target....all of this over not wanting to sit in the shopping cart and run around the store.  Lord help me.  Everyone was staring. 
 I did take him out and whoop him too....so don't think I didn't!  What do you do when this kind of thing happens???
It was so bad that a nice lady offered to wheel my cart out for me while I held him while he was screaming.....Thank you sweet lady at Target.  You were so kind!
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28 comments:

Rebecca Jo said...

oh my :)
Momma said there'd be days like that :)

Our grandbaby has those exact same reactions in stores & restaurants. The only thing that works is for my husband (His Pappy) to take him outside & sit in the car by himself. But I cant make him stop, his mom cant make him stop - Pappy has the magic touch.
I just wish I could throw a fit like that in Target when I'm having a bad day too :)

Alphabet Soup Momma said...

Bless you for sharing every momma's struggle!

My son HATES the carts at Costco for whatever reason so I try to avoid Costco with him at all costs. HA!

April @ Red-Dirt-Mama.com said...

My heart goes out to you! We have those days too. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to have an idea of what's ahead and we just don't go to the store that day... other times it blindsides me and we either have a long miserable trip or we go home early. Hugs, friend.

When B was 6 weeks old, I had a lady come up to me in Target and call me an unfit mother because my kid was crying. I still have nightmares of my child crying in Target. You can be assured if I was there I would have offered to sit with him while you shopped in peace!

Tristan said...

oh my word...that's never happened to me yet.
so sorry he was being a stinker!

T-A has a cart cover that we always use, extra patting and all..and I bring little things for her to do..if she gets tired and starts acting nutty I have a little pillow pet that she can have and she lays her head down for chill out time.

Amanda said...

Oh I can relate. My four year old and 23 month old both despise the cart. I dread shopping these days. Usually I threaten that he has to take a nap when we get home and it works but I have left the cart before.

Karen A said...


Aw poor kid!! I give my kids snacks, books or toys to play with in the shopping cart. A movie on the phone or iPad works too. :)

Nonny said...

They have bad days just like us.....
I raised three boys. I would take all three shopping with me, lol. I've even had one lean out on too of his head from the back of the cart. Scary!!

You did the tried and true method...discipline. I have marched them out to the car, and had our little talk and went back in. The key is consistency and be more stubborn them them.

I have also done the reward method. It's amazing what a dollar ice cream will do or something small they like.

Being a mom is hard work....but it is also the best!!

Take care,
Nonny
www.notionsfromnonny.blogspot.com

Christy said...

Becky, thank you for posting this. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that has days like this. I typically find an area where no one is at and threaten Parker. One day, I grabed my purse and took him to the car and sat there for almost 10 minutes until he could act right.

Linds said...

oh girl. I have trips like that, and it's worse because it's BOTH of my boys kicking and screaming. Which is why I rarely take them to the store with me anymore. Being big ol' pregnant doesn't really make it conducive for me chasing and trying to barter for good behavior. Gotta love the terrible twos :)

jen mccrady said...

Oh my goodness. All I could think was "bless her heart!" I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns. I'm usually strict at home but if she's making a scene in public, I'm usually too embarrassed and end up just doing ANYTHING to make it STOP!!! haha, so good for you!

Kristin said...

Bless your heart!! Mine haven't acted like that, so honestly I don't know WHAT I would do!! I completely think you did the right thing by disciplining in the store. My fear is actually spanking in public...I'm so worried about how others would react.

Robin Williams said...

Ignore the child and the screams... smile at the people who are staring and acting like their kid never acted like that.. Not sure how old your little guy is but since my kids were 2 I started doing the counting thing. Now that they are 3 and 4.5, I count for a cool down period (count to 5 slow and then ask if they are done) My little guy, 16 mo, hasnt done this yet. But in the past, I usually ignore it..

Robin Williams said...

Oh and when people look or make comments I usually laugh and say Guess he/she is done shopping... Or think he/she is telling me we've been shopping to long... Laugh it off to the rude people watching you.. dont let them see you losing your cool on the inside..

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

Hugs sweet lady! You are far kinder than I... LOL Gosh we sure do earn our grey hairs don't we? I am thankful Diddy isn't this age yet... Lord help me!

Kristen and Andy said...

Oh how I feel your pain!!! I gave up grocery shopping with the kids a few months ago and would just do it at night by myself after they went to bed. I only started back up shopping with them during the day again a few weeks ago...thankfully (knock on wood) they are doing much better now. Cannon is the WORST shopper ever - it would be a rare day that he didn't act like that....its so draining! Glad to see I'm not alone - these boys and the terrible 2's are rough...please let the 3's be nicer...LOL!

Dan and Liz said...

Oh, we've had and I know will have many more of these times. I do however make sure I don't go near target or any store when it's close to nap or bed...that just spells meltdown. If he continues on for more than 10 mins, I just leave the store. I know I can usually always go back instead of have a fight right there in public. Keeps me more sane that way :) Sounds totally normal!

Tyhada said...

I can not believe you would actually film your son while he was having a temper tantrum. What did you hope to gain by doing this? And you even laughed about it. Wow.

Leslie said...

I've totally been there! The one thing that started turning the tide for Riggs with trips to the store was something in the book "Making the Terrible Two's Terrific" (very helpful, BTW). He recommends going to the store some time when you don't NEED to be there. Before going into the store, tell him your expectations in simple terms: "Connor, we're going to Target! Yay! And when we're inside Mommy expects you to sit on your bottom in the shopping cart without whining. If you can do that we're going to have so much fun! But Connor, if you do not obey Mama and stay in the cart without whining, we will have to leave the store because you cannot behave that way in Target." If he does well, make a BIG deal of it with verbal praise. But the first time he starts disobeying, leave the store. Stay cool and calm, and matter of factly say "Oh how sad, we're going to have to leave because you cannot sit in the cart nicely!" A couple of situations like that and Riggins suddenly started to rise to meet my expectations. But we still verbally go through those expectations before going anywhere. All it takes now is a quick reminder of the expectations and he usually bounces right back from the edge of a tantrum. Usually :)

Becky said...

I have a 3 year old stinker that does this, but he reserves himself the right to do it anywhere, anytime. Thankfully, he's pretty good about a shopping cart. Lately, his rants have been at home, screaming and thrashing around. Forget the terrible two's...it's the 3's that'll do me in.

Sara said...

I'm guessing that the commenter two-above doesn't have children. Or. at least small children. Perhaps if she is a mother, she's far removed from this stage of life. Because let's be honest. Sometimes you HAVE to just laugh. Otherwise, you will be too stressed out to see straight.

I like the idea of going wen you don't need to. Julia usually does pretty good, but I can't ever attempt to go on a weeknight. SHe's way too tired from only one short nap while at daycare.

Shelly said...

Becky, I think you are a GREAT mom. Ignore the criticisms. They either have abnormally well behaved children that are not like the rest of the kids out there (mine have tantrums ALL the time) or they don't have kids. We've all found ourselves in that situation. It is crappy and all you can do is kind of chuckle at how much the trip out sucks and think about how you never want to bring them to another store again. And then someday soon you'll be right back to target with your kid and that trip will just be a memory.

Francie@EscovedoEscapades said...

Bless your heart. My boys are now 9 and 12. I don't recall them doing this in a store, but they did it plenty of times at home. At least at home it's easier to walk away and ignore them. My oldest did it most often at bedtime. Stick to your guns. As they say, consistency is key.

Don't you just despise those busy-bodies who act like their children never did that or those who don't even have kids at all, yet want to judge you? Pffft!!

It does get better. Although my
9-1/2 year old has had a really crappy attitude here lately. In fact, yesterday I posted on facebook that I was sick and tired of his attitude, and that he made me want to hide in a closet and drink wine through a straw.

So, let's remember each other in our prayers, shall we?? LOL!

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

Oh my. My toddler does this a lot. It's so hard to deal with these kind of meltdowns when you're out in public. I usually end up bribing him with something. I know it's bad but nothing else works!

Todd and Courtney said...

I feel you. Lauren has done this so many times. She's our feisty one for sure. I know some people may not agree, but we for sure don't spank. I have a hard time believing a 3 year old truly gets the meaning behind it, etc. It's a lot for a little mind to comprehend. With Lauren, I just leave the store. There's nothing so important I need to make us stay there. We went to Whole Foods the other day and she was so tired that she was melting down. We walked in, walked right out, sat in the car for 10 minutes. She screamed, cried, etc. Then she said "Im sorry, I feel better now." Some days we need a good cry :)

Nicolle said...

I'm one of those that are so glad you posted this. Being a parent is hard and messy at times. I don't think you were doing anything wrong by video taping this. Sometimes all we see is cute, sweet, smiling babies out there....and we all know that is not reality. Bless your heart! Love that I can relate to much here! I get it, from one mama to another.
xo

optimisticmusings said...

Toddlers, and tantrums, are rough. I know, having a nearly-two-year old that they seem to misbehave at the least opportune times. Like this Christmas, when my ENTIRE family was together for the first time in over a decade and we wanted a group shot. And every other child was sitting still...mine was the one screaming her head off in every. single. picture.

All that to say, I understand. A few things about this incident specifically. While I agree with others that it is tough to not laugh when kids are upset (I'm guilty of this myself), I think it is critical to deal with things swiftly and firmly (ie: I wouldn't film for over a minute). One of my closest friends, who I respect greatly, had a simple rule for tantrums in stores. She left. Immediately. Would even leave her cart full in the middle of the aisle. She would drive home, leave the child with the other parent and return to the store. Embarrassing...yes. Effective. Definitely. I realize this isn't always an option (it wouldn't really be for me given my distance from stores). But I would recommend leaving immediately. Go to the car and try to get things settled down OR just leave entirely. Some parents try walking away, and ignoring the tantrum and that can work too...but it's not something I would likely try. I would reiterate why he CAN'T come on outings (ie: bad behaviour) if it becomes common. And, here's the rub, you HAVE to eliminate something pleasant (ie: a trip to the donut shop), and tell him it's because you're not sure if he's ready to handle that outing with a happy heart. If he says he can, try going to the grocery store for a SHORT trip - if he does well, reward him with the "treat" outing.
In general, I recommend tips from Childwise and Love and Logic (lots of good blogs out there that document these things).
And really, fundamentally, I think you just need grace. Grace to recognize that our kids (like US!) get tired and cranky, and just channel it in ways we wish they wouldn't. Let's face it, sometimes after a bad day at work we'd rather cry and punch a wall than just sip a glass of wine. I GET why my child has a tantrum.
One last thing that I've been struggling with (and I think most other mom's these days do too) is being present. Although I don't have Twitter, or Instagram...or Facebook (cue collective *gasp*) I still feel like I'm constantly browsing a screen. Kids NEED us. I've been intentional about having quality time, one-on-one with NO screens or other distractions. I've noticed a dramatic improvement in the behaviour of my little one. I know media is a great way to relax (which we all need when we're working and moms and wives) BUT kid's need us...not us+screen. Just a few thoughts. Sorry to ramble. Prayers going your way. This motherhood stuff isn't for the faint of heart, eh!

optimisticmusings said...

Also - not that I'm ANY parenting expert...at all...but if you want to chat feel free to contact me at optimisticmusings [at] gmail.com
I have a few great resources I could point you to!

Bri Floor said...

Oh, my. What would I do, here?

If he has good communication skills, I'd ask him what he's feeling in these situations, after he's calmed down, and what would help him calm down. Maybe just sitting with him a hugging him a bit might help him calm down.

I understand that little ones can be very frustrating. I'm a mama and a stepmama. I'm not going to judge, but maybe spanking isn't what this particular child needs. Maybe he's acting out of fear. He's having some big emotions, he doesn't know how to deal with them and he's looking to you, mama, for help.

If, at the beginning of a tantrum, you can get him to focus, maybe work out a deal. "If you will sit in the cart for me and be good, I'll see what I can do about getting you a treat (whatever he likes) when we're done."

My stepson acts out only for me and his mama, in public. His papa? Never. Some male children just need that strong male figure to keep them in line. When I went out for dinner with my father one weekend, my stepson wanted to go. I didn't have to say a word. His papa (my hubby) piped right up with, "No, you can't go. You act out and embarrass her in public." It took a bit of communication between hubby and I about this reoccurring behavior, so we'll see how it goes, next time I take him somewhere.

Best of luck, hon. We're all in this, together!

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