October 19, 2011

Content

Dear Connor,

You are growing up so quickly right before our eyes.  It's a good thing your Momma is a maniac crazy picture taker ;)  I am obsessed with photos...but I am glad I have them to look back on.  Life has gotten a lot easier than it was this time last year.  Last fall Daddy and I were so sleep deprived because you were still trying to get the hang of things.  Now is a different story....you are getting into EVERYTHING!
I'm looking forward to Christmas time with you this year.  It's my favorite time of year!  I can't wait to see the glimmer in your eyes when you open your presents, but I also want you to grow up and learn the true meaning of Christmas.  It truly is a joyous time of year!  You love to pray to Jesus.  It's the sweetest thing.  When we eat dinner you grab for Daddy and my hands and we pray.  Before bed you put your hands together and we say your prayers as well....melt.my.heart.
You are definitely ALL BOY!  You're usually covered in food, dirt, or wet from getting into the shower.  It definitely keeps Daddy and I on our toes!  You are obsessed with Elmo right now and it's usually the first thing you want to do when you wake up in the morning.  I think I can sing most of the songs on "Elmo's World" now....that is something I never thought I would say! Ha ha!
We love you.  You are our joy.  Our heart.  And right now that is all we need.  We don't plan on having any more children....and that is a whole other topic within itself.  So, if anyone asks....NO we aren't.  Yes, we realize Connor will probably be a bit spoiled, but this is the life we have chosen.  We are happy, content, and blessed. 

I honestly never thought I would be able to have a child.  And my heart is still aching for the loved ones in my life longing for this journey.  Once you find contentment in your path in life....it happens.  Crazy how things work out.  I was content with it just being Terence and I.  Once I found inner peace, we had Connor.  It was and is the greatest blessing I've ever experienced in my life. 

Life is short, time passes so quickly.....

I find myself reading blogs now and it seems like everyone I was pregnant with at the same time I was with Connor is now pregnant with #2.  I am SO happy for you all!  Please don't judge me for my decision to not have more.....we do have our reasons. 

I do think...."Well, what would it be like to have a girl?" or "Will Connor be lonely?"

Maybe.

Those are just thoughts.  And it's not something that has to happen or will happen...they are just thoughts. 
Parenting is the best, most wonderful, and challenging journey I've ever experienced.  I love my boy.  Thank you Lord for this life you have blessed us with & I pray you will continue to bless Connor's life as he grows into a man of God. 

We love you my baby boo.

xoxo Mommy

7 comments:

Anne said...

He's so handsome - and those curls! Bedtime prayers are some of our sweetest moments over here, too. Never gets old!

I don't know if I agree that people are able to have children once they find peace or contentment with their path. I wish that was the case, but I think that might oversimplify it.

I know the Lord has plans for each of us, and for our good. I'm praying for many of our friends who are still waiting to be moms, too.

Emily said...

Contentment is so valuable!

Connor is too cute - love his big smile!

Heather B. said...

Such a sweet post!!! I love that you are content with where you are right now! Not many will agree with your decision but that's ok!

However,

Let me say this as an adult only child.....
Being an only child as a kid is by far the greatest thing EVER! You get everything you want, no one to "share" your things with, all of Mom & dad's attention. But it does make you a very selfish child which can majorly backfire in your face as you get older (as in teenager).
As an adult it royally SUCKS! At least that's how I see it. I have had to learn to be a sibling thru my children. Hardest thing I've had to do in my life. When I see my husband with his brothers, I admit, I get super jealous that I never got to have that relationship. In a way I feel like my parents somehow robbed me of that relationship by choosing not to have anymore children. Last year both of my parents were sick at the exact same time. It was the worst two weeks of my life because I was the only one that could care for them, make decisions for them & still had to take care of my own family. As my parents get older I dread the fact that their sole care will lie in my hands and mine alone. It is just so overwhelming for me to even think about. I'm just glad that at least my Dad has already written out everything for me if anything was to ever happen to him.

I don't say any of this to try and make you change your mind or anything like that. Just a perspective from a person that is living it in the now.

Also, think of the awesome relationship you have with Bonnie. Don't you in some way wish for Connor to have that too???

Again, just my perspective! Ultimately, it's in God's hands and I applaud you for knowing what you want. Not many people can say that!

Maria said...

Such great words dedicated to Connor. You seem like a great mom who showers her baby with love and prayers. I applaud you and your husband for making a decision that works best your family. Connor is so precious and so blessed!

Jessica said...

I love this post! I was an only child and my mom said with out a doubt she knew they didnt want another. Not in a bad way,but that they were complete with me. Hubbys family was the same way. i love your honesty!

Kendra said...

I totally agree that this Fall is much more enjoyable than it last Fall! Dave and I sure adored our sweet little infants last year, but we were SO overwhelmed and exhausted!!! This year we are BUSY for sure, but I find Luke and Abbey so much more enjoyable. I love the interaction we can have - and they SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!! =)


I also hear ya on possibly not having any more children. We most likely won't either. (I know we already have two, so it's a different situation, but still...I am just saying I support whatever is best for your family!!) I don't like to say we FOR SURE won't because, well, I just try not to think in absolutes like that. But honestly we just feel SO blessed we were able to get pregnant and SO grateful for the healthy children we do have.

Dan and Liz said...

There is no rule that says you have to have more than one child, so if one is perfect for you guys, that's so great! I feel very blessed we have Sam and will probably give him a sibling, as I have always wanted two. I would never judge you for only having one. He seems so precious and such a good boy. You are lucky!

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