Do you ever feel like your life is in a rut? You wake up and do the same thing every single day. Some days I feel like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day and it’s just a continuous cycle. I wake up get ready for work, drag Connor out of bed, make T’s lunch for the day, he makes our coffee….we go off to work. I’m always running late. My anxiety level is always at the max.
We’ve been coming home after work and just fall on the sofa. I’ve been upset with myself because I haven’t been exercising or eating right lately. I just ordered pants in a size bigger. Ugh. Life just takes over and you begin to just live each day in a trance. I don’t remember all of what I did yesterday….and if you asked me today I don’t even know if I would remember what I wore or ate for lunch.
I feel so scattered and I don’t have myself together. We have all been battling a bad congestion and cold for the last few weeks. I’m on a second round of antibiotics and hopefully this will do the trick.
I’ve lost track of how to manage my life and time. I find myself in “zombie mode”. Isn’t that sad? I’ve also fallen behind on church and prayer and reading my Bible. I can tell this is affecting my spirit and it probably comes out in my blog as well. It's easy for Satan to break in and start to chisel away at your heart. I’ve been over committing to do things….but at what cost? If those things take time away from my family then is it worth it?
I already work a full time job, but it seems like my blog is turning into a second job. I don’t what that to happen….I want to blog for the love of blogging. I want to document our life and love for each other. The special moments in life I never want to forget. Something I’ve lost track of doing lately. I’m still going to do things to bring in a little income every now and then, but once again it comes down to that ever so sensitive subject of BALANCE.
HOW DO YOU BALANCE IT ALL?
I’m not where I want to be spiritually or personally right now….but I don’t know where to pick back up. I’ve noticed lately I’ve had a lot of bitterness in my heart. Who does that benefit? No one. I don’t know why I feel this way, but my emotions are starting to affect not just me, but others as well. If I’ve said or done anything to hurt anyone un-knowingly I’m sorry. It’s not you it is me.
Today is a blessing. I want to live each day fully and conscientiously, knowing that we are not promised tomorrow. I constantly fall short….but I know I am forgiven. Thank you Lord for your love and forgiveness, for I am not perfect by any means, but I am blessed.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.