July 17, 2012

Child Discipline {Help!}

This is one of my favorite pictures of Connor and his BFF cousin Ellie.

Yesterday when I went to pick him up after work Connor and Ellie had to hug and kiss each other goodbye before leaving and it melted my heart.  It gives me such peace to know that Connor is so happy while I'm working.  We are so thankful for family that is able to keep him and love him.
It reminds me of this picture of me and my sister as little girls :-)

Terence had a good first day at his new job yesterday.  I tried to have dinner on the table when he got home.  I could tell he was tired, and I think it's going to take a while for us to get used to this new routine.

I have tried to limit Connor's TV watching to one movie before bed while he's winding down or drinking his milk.  I am definitely NOT the disciplinarian in our household.  I need to work on that.  I feel like I constantly let Terence down because he'll say no to something then Connor will come to me and I'll let him do it.  Of course most of the time I don't know his Daddy just told him no.....I feel like a failure and I don't want to give in to Connor's wishes all the time. 

Part of me feels guilty because I only have a short time with him each day after I get home from work and I want to make it fun.....but that doesn't mean I need to feed him suckers and goldfish to butter him up.  It's hard for me to manage my time between work, household chores, and my hobby of this blog.  It's actually one of the hardest things I've been dealing with...any suggestions you all may have as far as time management, I welcome any advice!

I know part of all of this is just his age.  He's a two year old and he's going to mis-behave and do things I get upset about.  It just breaks my heart to hear him crying so bad.  I've got to realize I am his parent and not his friend and it's my Godly duty to discipline him and instill in him the right thing to do.

Pray for me....I need it!

Proof and point: Right after I got out of the shower I found him in his room with the GOLDFISH he wasn't supposed to touch....ugh....I feel like I am constantly saying "No" and "Why did you do that?"

Patience and prayer....I love you sweet boy!

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Aishlea and Brandon said...

I'm with you- I hate being the bad guy and especially after working all day and not being with him....but I am the bigger disciplinarian in our house. :(

Jenn said...

I feel the same way. When I get home and just try to have fun, Emma Kate is constantly saddling and telling me "no" and then it turns into a meltdown. I have to punish her and I just feel like that's all I do. It's so pitiful when she looks at me with those tears and then I feel guilty. I want to be able to enjoy our time together and not have to punish her all the time.

Jenn said...

Sassing, not saddling, lol!!

Town and Country Mom said...

I'm right there with you! I'm trying to work on my discipline skills as well b/c I'm the total softy whereas my husband is enforcing the rules most of the time. I don't want him to always be the bad guy (and neither does he), but I NEED to step things up so my daughter doesn't eventually walk all over me...Glad to hear another mom having the same struggles!

Apryl Kilgo said...

It's just the age or at least that's what I keep telling myself. They have to be told no or else they will be spoiled and we all know that doesn't work in the real world. We all don't get what we want all the time. We constantly have to discipline because Kross does not listen. You tell him not to do something and he turns around and does it right away. The main thing is that you and Terrence need to be on the same page about discipline. We sometimes have meltdown after meltdown during the evenings. For us, the thing that works the best is timeout. It's hard being a working parent because you get very little time in the evening with them.

Amber Maddux said...

put yourself in my position and imagine T being gone from your life in a flash where you have to be both mom & dad, good guy & bad guy, fun loving & disciplinarian. It sucks HUGE but as he gets older you will see that you have done a good job and will continue to do a good job as the years pass and the "trials & tribulations" change :) i love you and you are doing the best you can - keep up the good work momma!!!!!!

Tristan said...

Chris hardly ever tells T-A no..and it makes me furious..lol..I need a partner to help say no..and he just can not do it..lol..his baby girl.

T-A is so good..but she has her moments. I started limiting the TV time and she will actually sit and watch a whole show while I get stuff done!!

Tiffany Norris said...

I'm already nervous about the discipline thing, but I have to say that last picture (with one finger on the Goldfish) is too cute. I can see why it's hard to say no!
As far as time management, I make after-work time all about C and me: no TV for either of us, just dinner and hanging out together. I blog if I can in that last hour before bed, and I try to do a lot of scheduled posts when I have time, too. That way, I don't have to keep up with it every day.
Good luck!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Izzy and I were talking about when we have kids and he totally called me out on how I will definitely be the good cop to his bad cop lol.

Nicole said...

It's the age. He's testing his limits. My son did it too. Still doing it haha. But he is very well behaved and I get compliments all the time about how great he is. Hang in there hubs and I still fight over discipline. I recommend a great book though by James Dobson called "The Strong Willed Child". I've been reading it off and on for about 4 years now...different chapters speak to me depending on what we are dealing with as a family.

Kendra said...

I struggle with this too,and I only work part time! It's so hard to spend your only time with them frustrated with each other.

Dave and I started reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" together. WE are reading it together so we can talk about it together and make sure we are on the same page. It's a great book and keeps reminding me that motherhood is a JOB, and even more convicting, one that God gave me =)

Anonymous said...

You should read "Dare to Discipline" and "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson. He is a Christian and has a ton of great parenting advice.